


Hard to Say

by rhiannonwrites



Series: Rhiro's Aroaceing the Line 2021 [3]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Aromantic Character, Aromantic Sasha Racket, Author Projecting onto Sasha Racket, Autistic Character, Autistic Sasha Racket, Family, Family Bonding, Gen, Implied Grizzop/Sasha, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mentioned Grizzop drik Acht Amsterdam, Nebularomantic, Unresolved Feelings, aroaceingtheline2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29725050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhiannonwrites/pseuds/rhiannonwrites
Summary: "You ever been in love?"She’s never been able to answer that question to herself. Not to mention all the memories that come up every time she thinks about it. How is she supposed to explain all of that to a fifteen-year-old exploring romance for the first time?
Relationships: Grizz "Riz" & Sasha Racket
Series: Rhiro's Aroaceing the Line 2021 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178327
Comments: 28
Kudos: 41
Collections: AroAceing the Line





	Hard to Say

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5: **Family** – Friends – Magic – **Grey**
> 
> Sasha is nebularomantic in this, tying to my headcanon that she is autistic, in addition to being arospec. For those who don't know, [nebularomantic](https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Nebularomantic) is being unable to distinguish between platonic and romantic attraction, due to being neurodivergent.

Sasha watches the kids play in the pond, swimming around and splashing each other, smiling to herself as their laughter and squeals of joy fill the air. She’s glad they seem to be having so much fun; it’s a well-earned break after all the work they’ve put into their training this week.

She hears footsteps approach, and she doesn’t need to look to know who it is. “Hey, Riz,” she greets, glancing over her shoulder to offer him a smile. “How’s it goin’?”

He doesn’t answer her question. “How’d you know it was me?”

“I know your footsteps,” she explains. “’Sides, you’re the only one missin’ out on all the fun,” she adds, nodding her head towards the others, who have started a contest to see who can do the most flips underwater. “Why don’t you join ‘em?”

He frowns. “Not really in the mood,” he says with a shrug, sitting down next to her and hugging his knees awkwardly to his chest. His legs have gotten so long recently, he’s been having a hard time figuring out what to do with them. “Can I just… sit with you, for a bit?”

Sasha gives him a soft pat on the shoulder. “’Course you can, Riz. Got somethin’ you need off your chest?”

He says nothing at first, and his silence is all but confirmation that there is, in fact, something he needs to talk about. She lets him take his time to gather his thoughts, and it’s a long while before he finally asks, “you ever been in love?”

She glances over at him, lifting an eyebrow. “Why d’you ask?”

Riz’s face goes _very_ red at that. “I-I… there might be… someone. Who I might… really like. A lot. And I wanted to know if you ever had someone like that.”

Sasha lets out a sharp puff of breath, somewhere between a nervous laugh and a sigh. She’s never been able to answer that question to herself. Not to mention all the memories that come up every time she thinks about it. How is she supposed to explain all of that to a fifteen-year-old exploring romance for the first time?

“I-I don’t know,” she finally says, honestly. “Maybe. ‘S hard to say.”

Riz gives her a quizzical look. “What do you mean by that?” He asks, tilting his head slightly.

“Never been real great at telling the difference between ‘loving someone’ and being ‘in love’… that probably doesn’t make much sense.” She chews on her lip for a moment. “Loads of people have tried explainin’ the difference to me, but I still don’t think I get it. Never really came up, anyway. The only person who ever made me really think about it died ‘fore I ever got a chance to really consider it.”

“Oh…” Riz says softly, his lips curving into a slight frown.

“Sorry,” she murmurs. “Didn’t mean to drop that on you.”

Riz shakes his head. “No, no, no, that’s alright. Just tryin’ to figure out what you mean. And I… don’t know if I can _relate,_ exactly. But I think… I think I get where you’re comin’ from? There’s a lot of kinds of love and sometimes the areas between them can go a bit grey.” He shrugs. “I dunno. I think it makes sense.”

Sasha stares at him for a few moments. “You’re gettin’ too damn wise for your own good, y’know that?”

He smiles bashfully, ducking his head. “I-I… thank you,” he says, then seems to go deep into thought for a moment. “Was it Grizzop?”

“W-what?”

He chews on his lip. “The one you were talking about a bit ago? Who died before you could figure out your feelings for them? Was that Grizzop?”

Sasha lets out a soft, wistful sigh and looks back out at the pond, towards the other kids. The sounds of their playing are drowned out by her own thoughts. “Yeah,” she admits. “Yeah, it was Grizzop.”

“He sounds really cool from what you’ve said about him,” Riz muses.

Her voice cracks slightly when she speaks, her lips tugging up into a small, sad smile. “Y-yeah, he was. The coolest.”

“Can-can you tell me more about him?” Riz asks quietly, his voice hesitant. “Might help you to… figure things out?”

She says nothing for a long moment before, finally: “Yeah, alright.”

Riz listens attentively as she tells him all about his namesake, and tries to explain what he'd meant to her.


End file.
